Friday, May 7, 2010


Why is it that the minute we post that we are doing well, (or better) that the world seems to start crashing down upon us? It is as though somebody heard and said,"Oops, didn't realize she was doing so well. Time for some more character building."

I firmly believe that people who have lost children should be exempt from any more trials in their life. Grief is an ongoing trial, and there should not be room for more.

I don't post EVERYTHING in my life, to protect those that are a part of my blog not by choice, but because they are my family. Blogg subjects by association. My family tends to get upset with me because I say WAY too much to people.

But this time, I choose to put it out there. I know, to those of you who know me...big shocker!

1 week ago today, at 2:15 pm, my 15 year old son ran away. He has called a few times to let me know he is ok, but loves having the life of no rules or responisibilies. At first I was upset and pleading with him to come home. Now I have turned angry and have been letting him know that. I am frustrated. And my anger isn't winning him over. Go figure.

Yesterday my husband was able to talk him into meeting him for lunch to try to talk him into coming home. During that time the police called to check on Garrett's status. Since he agreed to eat lunch with Greg, he is no longer considered a runaway and was taken off of the missing list. Which I am not sure what difference that makes anyway. If he is found by the police he is just turned over to us, then he can run away again. So I guess until he wants to come home, it doesn't really matter if he is a "missing person" or not.

So mostly I am upset with the fact that I have yet another trial in my life. Sometimes I will list the crappy milestones of my life to a complete stanger and they will just look at me like I am crazy. How am I still standing? And with a smile and a chuckle I will either say "It wouldn't be my life if it wasn't crappy" or "What doesn't kill us makes us stronger."

Throught it all, my testimony stays in tact, and I smile most of the time. I just think, I have learned enough for a while, and I would like a summer vacation from this school of life.

Thanks for listening to my whyning.